I have a love/hate relationship with new beginnings.

New beginnings, which I will leave vague for the time being, are like friends.
Not like best friends. Not close friends.
You know … friends.
Someone you know, but don’t know very well.
Easily forgotten.
The ones who throw you under the bus?
Yeah. Friends.
New beginnings are like friends.
You get one, and at first, everything is great.
You have a lot in common and you spend a lot of time together.
But eventually you hit that wall.
That moment when you realize that this … isn’t going anywhere.
This thing that you just met, just started .. this ‘friendship’ starts spiraling.
Faster than you can imagine.
You become overwhelmed and confused.
You neglect them at times and things fall apart.
You start to lose your grip.
But unlike friends, who are interchangeable at any time, New Beginnings are not.
New Beginnings, still vague, have to be endured.
You have to press on and keep on the rocky path.
You have to put in extra time and sacrifice so much for so little.
You hurt yourself, not because you want to feel miserable, but because you have to feel miserable.
That’s the catch 22.
The impending doom.
You have no choice.
New Beginnings is life and everything that come with it.
And with life, there is no getaway car.


Tonight you sounded like you didn’t care.
I’m not worried, I can say I’m not worried.
Cause I’m not.
But you sound a little strange as if you don’t care.
Should I worry? Can I worry?
When I know it’s the worst thing I can do?

Can you feel this? I can feel this.
We’re falling apart.
All the lies and fights we mended
Weren’t mended well enough.
Can you feel it? I can’t feel it.
Because we’re not really in love.
We smile and we pretend that
We’re going to try and make it.
But it’s a useless cause,
We’re wasting time.
Just go ahead and say the words.

We’re through.

I push and push and yet I get nowhere.
You say we’re perfect, we’re getting better.
But we’re not.
If that were the case, I wouldn’t cry.
I wouldn’t picture you with her.
Why can’t you worry? Cause I worry.
Why am I always losing you?

Can you feel this? I can feel this.
The fire is out.
We’ve lost the flame we tried to fuel.
We’re walking in the dark.
Can you feel it? I can’t feel it.
You’re cold and never close enough.
But smile and please pretend that
We’re going to try and make it.
But I know, oh yes I know,
We’re wasting time.
Justs go ahead and say the words.

We’re through.

Hit me with it. I can take it.
I’ve cried enough for you tonight.
I hate it. Please don’t take it.
I’ve lived enough, long enough without it.
I want it. Please don’t break it.
I can’t live without you in my life.

Isn’t it obvious?
I’d stay for all of eternity,
If you’d only ask.
It’s strange and I don’t know why.
But, I’d stick with you,
Though being with you
Is the worst thing I could do.

I can feel this. Yes I feel this.
This is our true love.
It’s here, it’s calling me and you.
Let’s reach out and make it.
You can feel this, please just feel this.
You control this dead room tonight.
Just smile and pretend that
We’re going to try and make it.
I don’t know, but do you know?
We’re wasting time?
Just go ahead and say the words.

I love you.